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For hours you swipe left and right, making your way through potential partners until you find a match. You decide to strike up a conversation but it becomes very clear that they are only looking for a short-term thing. For many millennials commitment is not at the top of their list when using a dating app and the desire for a perfect “How did you meet?” story seems to of all but vanished—Are modern day dating apps only working for users who want short-term partnerships?
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According to a survey by ReportLinker, 83% of American millennials have their smartphones active for 24 hours a day. Not only are they on all night but 66% of these millennials revealed that the first thing they do before getting out of bed is check their phones. Therefore it’s no surprise that dating apps are popular with the generation that cannot go a day without using their smartphones.
Tinder and Grindr are two of the most dominant so-called dating apps with Tinder being used in 196 countries and creating over 10 billion total matches. Grindr is the dating app specifically targeting gay men, which is being used in 192 countries and has over five million active monthly users. Grindr has become known by users as the app to use if you are looking for something short-term and generally casual.
“In the gay community it’s definitely known as the hook-up app,” says Raman Bahra, 22, a student at Coventry University using Grindr in order to meet new sexual partners. According to Raman, the app has gained quite the reputation in the gay community as mainly a way to meet men simply for sex.
Grindr is targeted at gay men and has over 5 million monthly users
“I started when I was 18,” says Raman. “I think I joined it out of curiosity and I was looking to meet other gay guys as I didn’t have a lot of gay friends.” Shortly after starting to use the app, Raman realised that not everything was as it seemed. Having broken up with his boyfriend whom he met on Grindr, he realised the app was not the right place for finding long term partners. “Barely anyone uses it for a relationship,” he says. “If you go through the profiles on Grindr, 80-90% of guys are just looking for a quick hook-up.”
Tinder is open to all sexualities. “On Tinder you can select what gender you are and what gender you’re looking for,” says Raman. “Having apps for specific sexualities will make certain people feel at ease and be able to find partners more easily.” This seems to be the case considering Grindr has millions of users.
According to Ramen, millennials don’t like doing things the old-fashioned way as our generation is “obsessed with gadgets”. For Raman, he has joined the majority of those on Grindr, stating: “I have now turned into one of the 80-90%.”
In the past week, Grindr released a new set of explicit emoji’s, which the company have labelled ‘Gaymojis’, it becomes ever more apparent that millennials are moving further and further away from traditional routes of communication. The face-to-face conversation has been replaced with a swipe or a text, now it seems simply sending an emoticon will suffice. Although users like Raman have already identified that Grindr is a “hook-up app”, it now seems that Grindr itself has recognised how the app was being used and has changed its marketing accordingly.
Tinder is undeniably the most successful smartphone dating app developed in the last 5 years. The company was founded in 2012 and in 2015, Tinder won ‘breakout of the year’ at the Webby awards. Despite the reputation that Grindr upholds, Tinder has been used more frequently to find long-term partners.
Tinder has taken the modern day dating industry by storm
Lindsay Clarkson, 20, has been in a relationship as a result of Tinder for the last six months and having moved to London from her home in Canada, is now facing long distance with her partner.
“I was sceptical about the whole thing,” says Lindsay. Having been encouraged to use the app by her friends, she never took it seriously until she came across her boyfriend. While talking to him, Lindsay recalls how she kept telling herself that meeting through an app was normal, reminding herself that “people do these things”.
The majority of people that Lindsay came across on Tinder were millennials. She has found that young people she talks to don’t know how to meet people unless it is online. The way that we meet our partners is a story we will tell for the rest of our lives but Lindsay has not let this get in the way, stating: “I’ve gotten over that hurdle that I didn’t meet him in this crazy romantic way—bumping into him in a coffee shop and falling in love. We laugh about it.”
A survey by InsightExpress found that two out of five millennials check their smartphone at least once every 10 minutes. “I’m not surprised that we incorporate personal aspects and intimate aspects of our lives onto these devices that have taken over,” says Lindsay. “We never get off our phones.”
Tinder can lead to some positive outcomes but not every user is moving into a new relationship or meeting a potential partner.
In a survey based on Tinder, 93% of women admitted to only matching with profiles they were attracted to. Whereas 33% of men admitted to simply swiping through profiles casually—something no women admitted to doing.
Bad dates and creepy comments are found only too often on dating apps, which is something Helen Needs, 22, a student at Bath University is only too familiar with. “75% of messages I received after matching with people were sleazy comments, or requests,” says Helen. After being encouraged by her friends to use a dating app, Helen finally decided to start going on dates.
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“For about 10 minutes it was small talk,” she explains. This was before he began asking her about animals and if she had any pets. When he mentioned that he kept snakes, Helen tried to make clear that she’s “not a reptile person”. Ignoring her hints, he continued to get his phone out and begin showing her every snake he owned. Confiding in her about his love for snakes, he finally confessed his plans to start a breeding program in his garage. “I managed an hour more and left,” Helen says. “He tried to lunge a bit for a kiss and I swerved.”
Following the date, they both ‘ghosted’ each other (ignore them so you never have to interact again), much to Helens relief. “I wasn’t into his snakes,” she says.
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Tinder might not have a largely provocative reputation but there are still a large number of its users that have similar intentions to those on Grindr. David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, has stated that apps like Tinder imply that there are millions of partners out there, which has led to a shift towards short-term dating.
Developments of new dating apps are happening every year, including Matchpool. A newly developed idea which will consist of ‘pools’ similar to Facebook Groups. This allows people to meet based on similar interests and in a similar way to how we use other social networks.
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Founded in 2015, Once, the dating app uses human matchmakers to help partner users in another new take on online dating. There is no swiping involved, no choosing, but simply waiting for the app to send you potential partners the matchmakers see fit.
Credit to GDI (http://globaldatinginsights.com/2015/07/23/16072015-onces-quality-over-quantity-dating-secures-impressive-3-5m-funding/)
“Once is a slow dating app for people looking for a serious relationship,” says Laura Argilés, 23, a Marketing Intern at Once Dating. The app notifies you every day at noon with new partners that the matchmakers think fit your profile. “The true perk of Once is that you don’t have to swipe through endless fake profiles,” says Laura. The demographic targeted by Once is 25-45 year olds, which means the app targets older millennials and above—an age range slightly higher than the main audiences of Tinder and Grindr.
Once currently has three million users, which is significantly less than Tinder’s estimated 50 million users. Once is changing the way that we find long-term partners with its slow paced take on online dating. “We are working on a validation system to guarantee that all our profiles are real,” says Laura, highlighting one of the ways in which Once is improving its safety. “On Once you can only see the profile of your match or matches of the day,” she says, which is disparate to Tinder or Grindr’s layout of swiping through as many profiles near your location as you would like.
Tinder and Grindr are popular amongst millennials for entertainment, sex or finding a relationship. New apps like Once are emerging into a market that is saturated with dating apps providing millions of potential partners. The difference is that Once provides matches that are specific to each user. Once is marketed specifically for those searching for serious relationships and as stated by Laura: “That is why we offer them a more professional and personalised service with our team of human matchmakers.”
Tinder and Grindr have millions of potential partners all looking for different things. With apps like Once and Matchpool emerging, will those looking for relationships move to these new apps? Or will the lovelorn be stuck in an endless cycle of disappointed swiping? One thing is sure, with Tinder comfortably at 50+ million users, it is reasonably safe to assume, for the time being, that millennials think they’re doing something right.