The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars

• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars In New York City
• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars Online
• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars Without
• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars In Nyc
• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars Near Me
• The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars At Home

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Our Favorite Venues for Meeting Women Outside of the Bar Scene

Remember loud, crowded bars? Watering holes so packed that getting a drink seemed like an impossible task, let alone making a meaningful connection with someone whose name you were barely able to catch over the cranked up music.

With most bars and clubs closed for the time being as we continue through the COVID-19 pandemic, it leaves one lingering question many guys would like answered: How do you meet women you’d like to date?

Historically, family friends, schoolmates, neighbors, colleagues and fellow churchgoers made up many of the people Americans started relationships with, but how do people do it nowadays, particularly with the COVID-19 pandemic impacting so many aspects of daily life, not the least of which is the tried-and-true method of meeting someone at a bar?

RELATED: How to Discuss First Date Precautions During a Pandemic

In order to get a handle on how to meet women without going to potentially shuttered bars and clubs, AskMen spoke to two dating and relationship experts. Here’s what they had to say:

9 Ways to Meet Women Outside of Bars

1. Dating Apps

If you’re one of the few people who hasn’t yet tried online dating, now’s the time to start.

“Since the pandemic, dating apps have seen significant growth,” says Tennesha Wood, dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of The Broom List “That means that more singles are engaging with apps, giving you more options than ever before.”

There are tons of different apps and sites out there, from all-purpose ones with huge user bases to swipe through to incredibly niche ones where finding someone with the same passion as you will be a snap. If you’re not sure where to start, consider AskMen’s online dating hub, which contains detailed reviews for literally hundreds of apps and sites.

The Best Free Dating Tips On How To Meet And Pick Up Women In Bars In New York City

RELATED:Best Online Dating Sites of 2021

2. Social Media

If you’re wary of dating apps, that’s understandable. Putting yourself on display for potential partners to judge can be daunting, and if you’re not having much success — putting together just the right profile is tricky — that can be seriously draining.

Instead, Wood notes, you can use social media as another form of website or app.

“Whatever you do, don't just say 'hi,’” she notes. “Initiate a conversation that focuses on things you have in common by asking a question, and inserting some humor.”

RELATED: How to Use Social Media Like a Gentleman

If she’s non-responsive, there’s no use hassling someone who’s not interested. However, there’s a chance that she, too, is looking for someone to chat with, and it could lead to some genuine flirtation if you play your cards right.

3. Friends

On the other hand, sliding headfirst into someone’s DMs might not be your style. That’s where one of the oldest tricks in the book comes in: asking your friends to play matchmaker.

“You get the best odds of meeting desirable people when you meet them through your friends,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today. “Statistically, most people in successful marriages met their spouse through a friend or family member.”

However, it’s not necessarily as simple as announcing to all your pals, “I’m single, find me someone!,” explains Wood.

“Your friends know women that you don't know, but don’t assume that they know what type of women you're looking for,” she says. “Be clear with your friends about what you're looking for and ask for their help.”

4. Matchmakers

Of course, maybe you’d prefer to leave the matchmaking to the professionals? You might not realize that matchmakers are still a thing, but they very much still exist and are even experiencing a boom in recent years.

“If you’re serious about meeting the right partner, using a matchmaker is a great option,” says Wood. “Matchmakers spend a lot of time getting to know their clients and understanding their needs to locate suitable matches. [And] one of the biggest advantages of using a matchmaker is the invaluable feedback they provide. After a date, it can be hard to gauge how your date feels and where they want to take the relationship from there; a matchmaker gets feedback from your dates and provides coaching in areas where you can improve.”

RELATED:Best Dating Apps for Relationships

5. Religious Community

Sometimes, the most knowledgeable matchmaker can be… your own God?

If you’re religious, there’s a decent chance that finding a partner with similar faiths is important to you, and one way to do that is through your own religious community.

“Generally, faith communities consist of people who get to know each other, and who can vouch for each other at least to some degree,” explains Tessina. “And a lot of people go to church are looking for connections.”

Of course, depending on how religious you are, this may already be covered by the “tell your friends” portion of this article, but if you’re a semi-regular attendee of a church, mosque, synagogue or temple, speaking to a leader in the community about your relationship goals and asking if there are any potential suitable matches could go a long way.

RELATED:Christian Dating: The Best Tips, Tricks and Apps

6. Learning Spaces

If you’ve ever heard the term “high school sweethearts” before, you’re familiar with the idea that someone at the same educational institution as you might be a good pairing.

Such people will often be your age or close to it; they’ll likely have either a similar background, similar goals, or some combination thereof, and there’s a good chance your friend groups overlap at least a little bit.

But even if you’ve already graduated long ago, that doesn’t mean you can’t meet single women in a learning context any longer.

“If you can choose something that genuinely interests you, and attracts the kind of people you’re looking for, you’ll have an excellent chance of at least making good friends,” says Tessina, “and a high probability of meeting someone suitable.”

However, she points out that 'classes and workshops offer a better opportunity to interact with the other people than lectures do, unless the lecture is a regular event, or followed by a lab or a discussion, where you can interact with people.”

7. Work

Similar to school, another place people have used as a dating pool is the workplace. However, this is one you have to be careful with, as there’s an increasing awareness that unwanted flirtation and romantic or sexual attention towards a coworker constitutes workplace sexual harassment (some companies having policies against coworker relationships entirely).

Still, it’s only natural for people to develop attractions to their coworkers, and these can flourish into serious and lasting relationships if all goes right.

“The reason so many people meet at work is that it supplies the criteria for bonding: contact, with meaningful content, over an extended period,” says Tessina. “Unlike online dating, and other one-time venues, the office gives you a chance to actually get to know and even bond with a person before declaring your interest.”

RELATED:Best Dating Sites for Professionals

“Working side by side with someone daily, seeing them under pressure, commiserating over problems and congratulating over wins gives you a portrait of the person on the inside as well as the outside,” she adds.

8. Your Neighborhood

Like work, romance with people you live near is a high-stakes game that can end terribly, as having to see your ex on a regular basis — whether at the workplace or simply when you’re coming home with some groceries — can be deeply unpleasant.
Still, relationships with neighbors aren’t out of the question, provided you’re careful about establishing parameters in the early going. As it’s only natural to engage in small talk with the people you live near, if both parties are interested, that small talk could easily morph into more engaged discussions.

“Pause outside to say a friendly hello, make a comment about the weather, ask when the trash is picked up, or what day the street sweeper comes by, borrow a cup of sugar, a wrench or a lawnmower, or pick up a piece of trash from your neighbor’s sidewalk,” suggests Tessina. “This is easier in a small town than it is in a big city because in a small town everyone expects to know everyone else. If you live in a metropolitan area, your neighbors are the other tenants in your apartment or condominium building. You can get to know these neighbors on the rooftop in hot weather, or by the swimming pool, in the park, or near the mailbox.”

9. Organized Groups

One more viable option? Join a group, a club, or a society related to one of your interests.

“Groups that are already organized, with planned events and structure, can be extremely helpful, especially if your group of friends is too small or too far away to be useful as a resource for meeting new people,” notes Tessina. “If you attend meetings and events of an organization for a while, you will soon make friends there. Most people you meet there will be known to the others, which makes it easier to know who you’re meeting.”

RELATED:Best Dating Sites and Apps for the LGBTQ+ Community

This could be anything, she adds. “Are you a collector? Do you have a favorite activity or interest? Do you love horses, travel, playing music, dancing, ’30s memorabilia or a stamp collection? Are you enthused about model trains, kite flying, or model planes? Are you an avid skier, gardener or hiker? Do you love playing bridge, chess, computer games? Do you like the mental challenge of math, or crosswords, or astronomy?”

“All of these interests have corresponding groups,” says Tessina. “When you find a group centered on your interests, that includes suitable people for dating, you have a great chance of meeting someone who already likes what you like.”

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This article was co-authored by JT Tran. JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.
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You know the feeling. You're out at a bar or a club, or even just walking down the street, when you see the most amazing woman. She could be drop-dead gorgeous, or something about her smile is making you itch to get to know her better. But when you approach her, you get nervous. You forget what to say, start mumbling, and in extreme cases, may even forget your own name. If you want to know how to pick up a woman without being nervous or shy, read this article for some tips.

Steps

Part 1 of 3:

Having a Solid Approach Download Article

1. 1
   Know when to approach. The first step to picking up a woman is finding the right woman. You should find a woman who looks ready to talk to someone new, whether it's because she's bored with her current company, or just because she's out and looking for some fun. Though you can't always tell if a woman wants some new company, the more open she is, the more likely you'll be to succeed. Here are some tell-tale signs that you should go up to her:

   • Obviously, if she's checking you out. If she has looked over at you more than once, and has even smiled when you caught eyes, then she is checking you out. If her friends are all looking over at you and giggling, then she -- or at least one of her friends -- is checking you out. Get over there already.
   • If she looks bored or annoyed with her company. Maybe she's yawning repeatedly when talking to a needy girlfriend, or she keeps rolling her eyes at the group of loud bros she showed up with. Come on, knight in shining armor -- it's your chance to gallop on over and save her from her company. If you read the situation correctly, then she'll appreciate the change of pace.
   • Don't approach if she's on a date, unless it's obviously not going well. If she's having an intense lip-locking session with her man, steer clear. But if she's on what looks like a first date and she looks absolutely bored or the guy she's with is spending more time checking his phone, you can approach her when the guy steps out if you're feeling bold.
   • Don't approach if she's having an intense catch-up session with her girlfriend. If she's in a big group of women, that's one thing, but if it's her and another friend, and they are talking quickly and intensely and they haven't scanned in crowd in over an hour, she's probably getting some much-needed catch up time with a friend.
2. 2
   Approach her with confidence. Once you've found your target, you need to show her that you're confident about who you are, that you love what you do, and that you'd love to get to know her, but your life won't be over if she rejects you. Coming across as desperate or approval-seeking can be a big turnoff.^[1] Here's how to do it:

   • Make eye contact. First, make eye contact with her from across the room. Then, make sure to lock eyes with the woman when you come up to her. You don't have to be creepy about it, but you should show that you're comfortable enough with the situation to look into her eyes instead of staring at the floor or your feet.
   • Smile. Smiling will show that you're cool with the situation, and that you're not nervous. Remember: you're happy with who you are, so even if she rejects you flat out, you'll walk out with your head high.
   • Don't slouch and don't cross your arms over your chest. Keep your body open -- anything can happen.
   • Give her all of your attention. Without getting too close, turn your body toward her, and avoid any distractions, like checking your phone every five seconds -- or at all.
   • Part of looking confident is dressing well. You don't have to wear something expensive, but just put on a flattering outfit that fits well, and look like you've showered earlier that day.^[3]
   • Don't use a pick up line. Unless you think she has a really silly sense of humor, avoid any common pick up lines like, 'You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night.' Women won't appreciate your lack of originality.
   • Make it clear that you're hitting on her. If you're indirect with your approach, you might come across as someone who's looking for friendship, rather than a date. To avoid any confusion, express your interest right away. For instance, you might say, 'Would you like to come sit with me? I'd love to buy you a drink.'^[5]
   • Ask her questions about herself. Don't pry or get personal. Just ask her a few questions about herself, like what she loves to do, if she likes her neighborhood, or even her favorite sports teams or TV shows. You don't want to walk away and have the girl think, 'Wow, he doesn't know one thing about me. He obviously just wanted to talk to me because he thought I was hot.'
   • Ask her opinion on things. Show that her opinion matters. Just ask her some light-hearted questions about what she thinks of the cocktails at the bar you're at, or even if she likes your new shoes.
   • Don't be afraid to compliment her even if you think she's heard it all before. If she's beautiful, interesting, or has a great sense of humor, tell her. If you're casual and honest about it, you won't overwhelm her.^[6]
   • Tell her something interesting. Show her that you're a guy who reads the paper and knows what's going on in the world. Without being boring, tell her a random fact that caught your eye recently.
3. 3
   Be yourself -- to a point. This means that you should show her who you really are instead of putting up a phony front, but that you should also tone down the more unique parts of your personality until she gets to know you better, or she may be thrown off. Here's how to do it:

   • Don't be a poser. Don't act like you're this hot shot who gets a lot of women. Just be a cool guy who wants to get to know her. Don't talk about all the other girls in your life, or she'll think, then why is he talking to me?
   • Show her who you are. Tell her a bit about your interests, what you do on the weekends, or mention that awesome trip you took to Tahoe with your buddies. The girl should have a sense of who you are besides that guy who is hitting on her.
   • Remember that you're not with your bros. Though she can get to know you for real later, hold off on the crass jokes, or the stories that might make you come off in an unflattering light.
4. 4
   Charm her with your sense of humor. Women love guys who can make them laugh, especially if they can do it without trying too hard. You should show her that you're funny and that she'll have a good time if she's with you.^[8]
5. Keep up some witty banter. If she says something funny, don't just say, 'That's so funny' and laugh without responding. Instead, fire back something equally funny to show you can keep up.
6. Tease her gently. Women love if you tease them if you do it the right way. Just poke fun at something she says, or tease her about her unique laugh. This will develop your relationship on a more playful level.
7. Make fun of yourself. Don't be self-deprecating, but show that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're able to laugh at yourself.